There's Nothing Wrong, But What If There Is?

I am a worrier by nature. In fact, when I was a little girl my grandmother gave me some worry dolls from her trip to Guatemala. I'm still not sure if that was just a souveneir or a nod to my early neuroses - I worried just as much, if not more, as a child-worrier than an adult one.

(Photo is from Wikipedia; click for more on worry dolls - they worry so you don't have to!)

At certain times in my life, I've had a lot to worry about. When my father was dying and I had no money to go to college and I was trying to get a scholarship and get into college - that was a time to worry. When I was gearing up for both my wedding and an imminent deployment to Iraq - that was a time to worry.

But right now? When MJ and I are both gainfully employed, healthy and in love and the world is going well for us? Well, I still have to wake up at night and worry about something --

• Whether the cats have enough dry food (When I wake MJ up at 2am in the morning by getting up and putting on my robe to go check, he tells me that even if the cats are out of food, they can wait until morning. This is why they love me more).
• If I have an 8am meeting at work no one told me about. My job is like the law - ignorance is no excuse.
• If my locker at the gym has expired without me receiving notice and someone has thrown out my flip-flops and Philosophy bath products.
• What bill I've forgotten to pay lately. This is usually a valid worry - not because we can't pay, but because we're terrible at dealing with the mail.  Of course, it could be resolved by setting everything up to autopay, but then I would just worry about whether the payments went through properly or if our account was accidentally deducted $3500 for water and sewer instead of $35. See? The worries just replace themselves.
• Whether we are ever going to manage to buy a second car. Actually, this is a valid worry as well, as MJ and I have been "car shopping" for four months and I just can't bring myself to swap all those hours and hours and months and months of hard work for a fine foreign-made automobile.

Maybe I should go looking for those worry dolls... Isn't it funny how our personality traits can be independent of our circumstances?  People have a happiness baseline that's more or less independent of their circumstances - all other factors being equal, some people will be happier than others in the same situation.  I'm pretty happy by nature, but I'm also a compulsive worrier - and I will find something to worry about. Especially at 2 a.m.